October 24th, 2009

Silver

One last thing.

I really hate the way I obsess over things. Although I did hold off on posting until I was in a much better mood. I was going to not post at all but I think I need to get this out so it'll hopefully stop interfering with my life and getting in the way of my writing.

Like I already said, I worry that the third chapter of Now and Then comes off as a cop-out. I was worried about it when I was planning the story, I worried over it while writing, I worried about it all the way up to posting. I thought I'd be done with the worry when I posted, but I should have known better.

Critical comments are a rare thing online and in a way, that's a pity. If I'm at all uncertain about something, I tend to think people are being polite or are too scared to say anything negative. In other words, it means I can't completely trust that people are being honest. Because I know my own habits, and I know I shy away from being critical, because I've seen authors react negatively.

But as an author I hate it, I'd rather be secure in the knowledge that readers would tell me if something I posted sucked. Or even if it was just disappointing in some way. It's not only so that I can trust the positive comments; if something is off in my writing, I want to to know about it. How else would I be able to improve? I don't normally get any feedback beforehand so comments after the fact are the only thing I have.

The last thing I want right now is reassurances, because in the state of mind I'm in, I wouldn't believe them. That's why I disallowed comments on the previous post. But that seems cowardly, so they're back on. So if the last chapter was a disappointment, I'm sorry. I gave it the best ending I could while staying true to the story and what I was trying to do with it. And now I need to let this go and move on with things.